Chip my Papillon, my amazing gift is gone, and i cannot stop crying. He breathe his last breath in my arms,(I heard a horrible choking cough that i never heard before),as if something was blocking his airway.
I tried to remove mucus or whatever was in his throat. I (didn't see anything and he wouldn't let me look deep. He was having tachycardia and difficulty breathing.
Then he just abruptly stop breathing. I gave him CPR,but he wouldn't revive(my vet is miles away). How could this happen so quickly?
My amazing gift,my dog. Chip is only 4.5 lbs. He will never sit anywhere in my car (except beside my left arm at the door on a pillow),or he will whine,and cry like a baby.
It's unbelievable when people in my car hear him, (they would say,"are you kidding me,if i didn't hear it i wouldn't believe it"),"that's coming from a dog? He almost sound like a child"
He wants to be close to me as possible (right in my lap on a pillow). He trained himself and stay seated without disturbing my driving,(unless someone he likes is in the vehicle trying to get his attention).
So I'm a RN, I work nights sometimes. I travel way up in the mountains sometimes for an hour and a half.
During the day, (the drive is lovely,nice pictures scenery of nature. Some homes are miles apart with (horses grazing and lots of acres of farm land).
Then at nights (I dreaded every moment of my drive). The roads are long and dark,and only my car give lights. I practically sit at the edge of my seat driving.
But (Chip perched on my left side on a pillow), slightly resting on my arm looking ahead with me,(and every now and then he glance at me).
He was my companion for the long tedious ride to work. (I always felt like a person was there with me in the car).I never felt alone.
I could never leave Chip at home alone(except with my mother). However, he loves to go to daycare where he meets other dogs,(but I hate to leave him).
So Chip goes with me to work day or night, (he fits comfortably in a purse-like carrier under the desk,and(he would sleep until my shift is over).
No one ever suspected that a dog was with me, (i never disclose it "dogs not allowed during work").
Before i entered the facility, I would escort Chip out of my car and he automatically poop and pee immediately,(without me ever waiting for long periods). I never had an accident with my amazing gift my dog.
Once I had to leave him home alone,(and I was late getting back). I thought for sure Chip poop and pee on the carpet. But what I found when I arrive home was astounding. Chip went in the bathroom and poop and pee in the bathtub.
How did this small dog, 3lbs at the time (jump in and out of a deep tub?) How did this dog know he shouldn't pee or poop on my carpet or anywhere? wow.
My dog Chip goes with me to church, to the restaurants, to places where (no dogs allowed).
But no one ever suspected that (i had a dog with me). He is quiet and doesn't even peek out the bag,(unless i let him).
He is just happy to be with me). Now I'm alone again,(my amazing gift, my amazing dog), will never be again. He is gone forever today.
I would never go for a walk alone, (if Chip wasn't there to go with me). I would never walk in the park by myself,(but Chip loves the park). He is my amazing dog,my uncomplaining friend,my companion.
He loves to chanse squirrels and the ducklings to the pond,(he also loves to watch the ducks swim) in the pond too,(we would sit there for hours ).
I meditate and work through a problem, and Chip watch everything that goes by,(while sitting quietly on my lap). Many dogs attempted to reach out to Chip by barking,(but Chip never ever bark back).
Sometimes he ignores them completely. How could he died and leave me? my amazing gift,my dog Chip.
Some dogs are mischievous or eat anything around the house.Chip would never gnaw at anything(unless he find a bone somewhere,perhaps in the park) . He always wait to be fed,(he watches me,and if I don't eat,he doesn't want to eat).
My amazing dog Chip, lay wrapped up in a towel, (with only his head showing, on my lap).
He died over an hour ago,(but i thought i felt him move). I look again and he looks like he is sleeping. Then i look at him again and he looks like he is looking at me),he looks so alive.
But he is not breathing. Friends and family say to me,"life goes on" "Oh i understand, or that's the way life is". But how could they understand my amazing gift,my dog Chip, the benefits of having a dog.
I didn't need a husband or man-friend to make me happy,(in fact, they are jealous of Chip).
Chip loved me unconditionally, and is always happy to see me. Whenever he is home, (he never plays by himself,or wonders around the apartment alone). He always wait for me to play with him.
If I'm sitting on the sofa,(he comes and curl up beside me). If I'm on a chair at the desk,he wants to sit behind my back on the chair,(even if there is no space for both of us).
If I'm on the bed, he wants to curl up beside me. And if he wants to go pee, (he gets off from wherever he is) and wait at the door to the bathroom,(then i know he wants to go pee),my amazing gift,my dog.cherish your dog's health.
My amazing gift, my dog has been more than a true friend,passed on today. What's going on in my life in such a short span?
my mom sustained a stroke. I woke up yesterday morning and found a mushroom growing in the passage way to my bathroom, (on the upstairs floor of my apartment),how strange is that?
Then a day after my dog died. Then my toilet is leaking from the base,(all happened one after the other,). Never ever have these things happen to me before. what type of luck do you call this?
It's almost five hours since my dog died. Chip is still wrapped up in a towel beside me,(he appeared to be looking at me).
My eyes are sore from crying,(but i don't think i am through). I do not think that i can truly sleep tonight.
Its now 12:48 am, (and Chip is still wrapped in a towel) beside me. He looke as though he is sleeping.
How do i say goodbye? I wish that dogs go to heaven and i will see him there some day. My amazing gift,my Chip,my buddy, gone.